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NECESSARY CHANGES FOR AN ABUSIVE MAN
Posted on 5/9/2012 by Leslie Vernick
Have you encountered someone who desperately wanted help but was unwilling to submit to your treatment plan? I have.
Tom contacted me over troubles in his marriage. He begged and begged me to squeeze him into my schedule. Finally an evening slot opened up and Tom eagerly brought his wife Jennifer with him for counseling.
As I sat and listened to their story it became clear that their marriage was in deep turmoil and that much of it was due to Tom’s unrealistic and unreasonable expectations of Jennifer. Later, a phone consult with their pastor confirmed my initial impressions.
Does God Care More About Sex than Marriage?
Posted on 4/13/2012 by Leslie Vernick
As a biblical counselor, how would you respond to a client who asks?
I’ve been married for 25 years to an emotionally and verbally abusive man. He regularly curses at me, calls me degrading sexual names, refuses to have a normal conversation with me and mocks me in front of our children. He will not see a counselor or talk with our pastor.
I don’t want a divorce but I’m tired of trying to make this better. I feel angry and bitter toward him for the way he treats me, yet he still expects me to be loving and affectionate with him, especially in bed. I can’t do it. What does God expect me to do?
Men are Victims of Domestic Violence Too
Posted on 3/14/2012 by Leslie Vernick
Recently I received a letter from a man who wanted me to know that men can be victims of domestic violence too. As biblical counselors, I thought you too would find his experience sobering.
He writes:
Men who are victims of domestic violence have no place to turn. They can be hit, abused, bullied and terrorized by their wives and the only way they can hope to have contact with their children is if they continue to allow themselves to be victimized.
How do you know when someone is truly sorry?
Posted on 2/8/2012 by Leslie Vernick
They do not cry out to me from their hearts but wail upon their beds. Hosea 7:14
As biblical counselors, sometimes it’s hard to discern if someone is truly repentant. Tears are often the language of the heart, but when one is crying in the counseling office, it’s important to hear what the person’s heart is really saying. The apostle Paul speaks of two kinds of sorrow, worldly
Emotional Abuse: Worldly Psychobabble or Biblical Reality?
Posted on 1/11/2012 by Leslie Vernick
Physical abuse is obvious. A black eye, a broken arm, a fat lip is evidence that something is dreadfully wrong in a relationship. Emotional injuries are not as easily discerned but the effects can still be deadly.
November 11, 2011, ten year old, Ashlynn Conner, hanged herself after being repeatedly
The Slippery Side of Hope
Posted on 12/7/2011 by Leslie Vernick
Hope deferred makes the heart sick. (Proverbs 13:12)
Depression, despair, feelings of disquiet and emptiness are common complaints we hear in the counseling office. Standard treatments of care for depressed persons notwithstanding, in this post I’d like to single out one specific aspect of the diagnostic picture as well as treatment plan that Christian counselors often fail to see but are uniquely equipped to address.
Do you Know What Questions to Ask?
Posted on 11/9/2011 by Leslie Vernick
John and Carol were in counseling for over year. Their presenting problem was identified as communication issues and difficulties agreeing on how to discipline their teenage son. John was a deacon in their church and managed security for a large corporation. Carol was a homemaker. They were married seventeen years, their son just turned fifteen and they had two younger daughters.
During their bi monthly counseling sessions Carol would often defer to John for the answer to the counselor’s questions. She seemed very anxious to get help as they were concerned that their teenage son was
Diagnosis Determines Treatment Plan
Posted on 10/12/2011 by Leslie Vernick
Ten years ago my mother became very ill. A persistent cough and difficulty breathing sent her to her doctor for help. Bronchitis was the diagnosis, antibiotics the cure. “Don’t worry,” he said. “You’ll be much better soon.”
My mother didn’t feel better, she got worse. She wheezed. She couldn’t sleep. Her breathing became labored. Her doctor now added asthma to her diagnosis and prescribed an inhaler plus new antibiotics.
A New Way of Seeing
Posted on 9/14/2011 by Leslie Vernick
It was a regular Sunday morning, my husband and I attended worship at our home church. Our senior pastor was on vacation so an associate pastor was preaching on Psalm 51, David’s prayer of repentance after Nathan the prophet confronted him with his sin against Bathsheba and her husband Uriah.
My pastor described the backdrop of what led up to Nathan’s confrontation with King David. He told about David’s adultery with Bathsheba
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