A Caring Response to Suicidal Desires
Author: Shauna Van Dyke
Category: Biblical Counseling, Counseling
As a counselor, you will share some of the deepest and darkest moments with others. For me those moments are walking with women who struggle with suicidal ideation. Some of whom I’ve lost. Suicide is the eleventh leading cause of death in the US for all ages[1]. This statistic alerts us that the people who could be considering suicide are in our church, homes, families, neighborhoods, and work. We must be prepared to provide care to someone who is threatening suicide or engaging in suicidal behavior.
By looking at the narrative of Jonah, we’ll discover four godly characteristics we can adopt to aid those who have lost hope for living.
Compassionate.
The Lord commanded Jonah to preach against Ninevah’s ruthlessness and idolatry. However, Jonah chose to flee (1:3). Just like Moses stated in Exodus 34:6 and David in Psalm 86:15, Jonah declares in 4:2, “I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.” Jonah wanted justice his way for Nineveh, not God’s compassion.
Despite Jonah’s self-centered disobedience, God demonstrated compassion to him (4:1-4), comforted him (4:5-8), and taught him (4:9-11). Jonah, who would rather die than see Ninevites saved, was still used to bring a whole city to repentance.
Likewise, through Christ we share the same compassion.
Practical Applications: Overall, express compassion by talking openly about suicide.
- Be alert. Encourage expression of feelings and motivations.
- Be direct. Boldly ask clarifying questions such as How long have you had these thoughts? In what ways have you considered taking your life? Who else have you shared this with? This information will help in creating a solid safety plan.
- Be understanding. Share your concerns regarding their well-being and communicate the importance of their life:
- Your life matters to me. I am so thankful you are here right now. I know this must be hard to share; thank you for trusting me. I see how difficult and painful this situation is to you.
- Be careful. Acknowledge their pain without inducing shame. Listen patiently and communicate back what you hear without judgment, but with gentle, careful words that express love, mercy, and understanding:
- “It’s worth looking at alternatives before making such a permanent decision and I’d like to help you with that. This will be hard, but you are not alone.”
Hopeful.
Jonah didn’t want God to show Ninevites His mercy and give them hope. Nevertheless, God is merciful. He provided hope to the sailors—when the seas calmed, they feared the Lord, offered a sacrifice and made vows (1:16). To the sinners in Ninevah, God gave opportunity to repent, and they believed the warning, fasted, and showed remorse. And, despite Jonah’s pride and efforts to escape, the Lord persisted and forgave.
As God gives us hope through Christ (Romans 15:13), we can offer the same hope to others.
Practical Applications: Direct them to heart-changing truths by reading Scripture.
- Psalm 33:4-9. Your purpose doesn’t come from the people in your life, and your hope doesn’t come from your situation. God alone makes life worth living. He created us to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever. I know you don’t feel that right now, but the Lord is with you; He cares for you and can help you. He will not leave you or forsake you.
- Psalm 34:17-18. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted. He hears our cry. He delivers us, and He saves!
- 1 Corinthians 10:13. God promises to give you the ability to endure this hardship. The ‘way out’ that God provides may not be easy, or what we want, but there is always an alternative to suicide.
- Romans 5:2-5. God has poured His love into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who can help you endure this suffering. You can experience joy and peace in the midst of your struggle through faith. Hope is rooted in faith, so where there is faith in God and His Word there is hope and where there is hope there is life.
- Matthew 11:28-30. Jesus invites you to come to him to find rest.
- Psalm 139. Encourage them with the truth about God.
- vv.1-3 – You are not alone; God is with you right now & always.
- vv.1-6 – God is all-knowing. He knows your ways, thoughts, struggles, trials, temptations, weaknesses, doubts, fears, sins, and failures.
- vv.7-10 – God is here to help you, lead you, and hold you.
- vv.11- 12 – God is the light in your darkness.
- vv.13-14 – God is your creator, the giver of life, and if you’re still breathing, He still has a plan and purpose for your life.
Wise.
God is present. Despite Jonah’s escape attempt, God stayed with him. And (eventually) Jonah wisely obeyed. As we help put a safety plan together, we don’t want to lean on our own understanding but seek wisdom from the Lord while trusting that He is already at work.
Practical Applications:
- Be honest. They need additional support outside of the counseling room so don’t be sworn to secrecy. Reassure them that you will use the utmost discretion when involving others in the process.
- As you offer support by developing a safety plan, don’t offer reassurances that any one plan will turn things around right away. Tell them this will take time, but you and others are here to help.
- Be decisive. Together, you may need to make non-negotiable decisions and take immediate action, such as removing means of self-harm (ropes, firearms, knives, alcohol or other drugs) or removing doors from closed rooms or arranging daily/overnight monitoring.
- Express that this is for their good because even though they don’t feel it right now, their life is valuable, and you care about them.
- Be prepared. Know which nearby inpatient treatment centers offer faith-based programs and how you can work alongside them. We want to provide ongoing care and accountability where we can. So, use time in between sessions to study, pray, and prepare well for your time together as you seek biblical wisdom.
Patient.
The grace Jonah wanted to withhold from others in chapter one, he asks of Yahweh for his own benefit in chapter two. In the belly of the whale Jonah prayed for God’s help (2:1-2), he accepted God’s discipline (2:3), he trusted God’s promises (2:4-7) and yielded to God’s will (2:8-9). Jonah couldn’t save himself, but God’s goodness brought him from rebellion to repentance.
God was patient with Ninevah, withholding judgment and sending a merciful warning. He was patient through Jonah’s disobedience. God will accomplish what He wants through us, despite our objections or trying to take matters into our own hands (Philippians 2:13). As believers, we experience God’s grace, and in turn share it with others (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
Practical Application:
- Remain steadfast. Trust in God’s promises and timing throughout the process. God is at work! Create a prayer circle praying for them and for you as the care giver.
As we seek to help those who’ve lost hope for living, take comfort in knowing that the Living God can use us through His Living Word to offer Living Hope. Throughout the journey, in our biblical response we will share the compassion, hope, wisdom, and patience of God with others as we rely on the Holy Spirit’s guidance, who intercedes to provide transformation.
A Caring Response to Suicidal Desires – Observation Video
[1] https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide, accessed March 13, 2025.
Posted on November 5, 2025