Sometimes we're quicker to judge than to comfort.This hit me recently on the streets of Philadelphia, where I live. I walked by a young homeless person begging on the street and immediately thought to myself, "I wonder what they did to get themselves here."Wow. That's about as far from a gracious response as you can get!
When our Christian counselee says something like, “I just can’t forgive myself” as biblical counselors how do we respond? Perhaps it’s a client who has committed adultery or had an abortion or done something contrary to Scripture and despite asking for and receiving God’s forgiveness, she refuses to forgive herself.
Whenever counseling Christians looking for assurance of salvation, I take them to 1 John. This brief epistle is full of help for determining whether we are in the faith or not. In particular, there are three signs in 1 John given to us so we can answer the question “Do I have confidence or condemnation?”
On several occasions I spoken on the topic of sexual abuse and the shame associated with it. Shame is such a pervasive part of any kind of abuse or any sin. What has profoundly impacted me as I’ve thought about all this is how my brothers and sisters are overwhelmed by the sin of sexual abuse and the shame that accompanies it.
What does the Bible say about being connected?A Word of the YearMy business coach and her VIP group encourages everyone to choose and be led by a “word of the year”. The first year my word was Believe because I knew that everything I did as an entrepreneur should be solely influenced by the beliefs and values I held as a Christian.
Christy was startled awake when she felt her husband yank her nightgown up and pull her legs apart. She tried to push him off her but he was too strong as he pinned her down to their bed with his body weight. This wasn’t the first time he forced himself on her but this time was the worst. This night Greg was rougher than usual and Christy felt it would never end. She bit her lips together so she wouldn’t scream. Their little boy was asleep next to her in their bed and all she could think of was “Please God, don’t let him wake up and see this.”
What do you do?”That question intimidated Joshua Millburn. It wasn’t that he had a bad answer. He enjoyed his job as a regional manager and he liked the people he worked with. He earned a great salary doing something that gave him money, respect, and outlets for his talents.
Debbie burst into tears when I asked her, “How can I help you?” She sobbed, “I feel like such a failure. My marriage is falling apart. I’ve tried everything I know how to do and he still won’t connect with me. When I try to talk with him he tells me my expectations are too high.
We are talking about an epidemic. The human heart knows something is lacking inside of us all. As people, we go on our own search and rescue mission to somehow quench the thirst of desire that consumes our souls.
God honoring biblical counseling requires continual assessment of our own hearts, knowledge, skills, and shortcomings. Simply because one becomes licensed, certified or simply accrues hundreds or thousands of hours counseling does not permit us to relax in our zeal to know God’s Word more deeply.