Posted on 8/19/2011 by Jeremy Lelek

Being a counselor now for over 11 years, I have been continually thrust into the existential reality of my own futility.  Any hint of grandiosity, in which I allow myself to believe for a moment that I have mastered the process or skills necessary to foster healing in people, quickly evaporates in the inferno of experience known as "life in a fallen world".  

For example, a married couple who has stood on the precipice of divorce for months may finally seem to be gaining relational momentum as illustrated by a fresh affection during one of our sessions. An intimacy, that to this point, has been a profoundly distant memory.  Yet, the very next week, this same couple may return to my office having waded through one of the darkest weeks they have ever experienced as husband and wife; both of them exhausted and ready to call it quits.  

The words, "We're too broken", sift through quivering lips as the wife succumbs to the grim reality that all the programs she has sought to implement into her life and marriage echo the words of the wise king who cried, "...all is vanity and a striving after the wind" (Ecclesiastes 1:14, ESV).  His body literally jolting as he sobs next to her, the husband simply nods in agreement, unable to speak as the tidal wave of emotions consume him.  For them, the "one step forward and two steps back" process of healing has taken its toll, and as far as they can tell, the only companions to accompany them in this wilderness of chaos are hopelessness and despair.  Silence.  Exhausted eyes make their way from the floor to my face desperately peering into my eyes longing to see one glimpse of hope radiating from my countenance.  A silent prayer echoes in my mind asking for guidance from the only One who has the capacity to make sense of all this brokenness, "Lord, please help me."  The revelation of our corporate dependence, both counselor and counselee, is violently exposed.  

Without a doubt, counseling is messy, chaotic, and at times confusing.  Even for the most seasoned counselor, moments like the one above unfold rather consistently.  It may come as a surprise to some, but there are no real "steps to overcome" that have proven to be "air tight" when tested in the unpredictable reality of human experience.  Raw, authentic brokenness will have nothing to do with such artificial management.  You may quote all the Scripture you want as your mantra of self-help, but in the end your results will be identical to that of the magician who makes his living by orchestrating illusions.  There are no magic potions to make it all go away in an instant.  For the Christian, it all boils down to a faith in a God who is there.  

Consider I John 5:4-5, "For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world.  And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith.  Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?"  Faith, "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1).  It is the hinge upon which all biblical counseling and the Christian life are forced to turn.  It is faith alone, by grace, that will open the eyes of the couple above to see what is really going on.  It is faith alone, that will help the counselor conceptualize the map that makes sense of this oft excruciating voyage.  When peering through the eyes of faith, it becomes apparent that the couple's marriage is somewhat like a battered raft.  While their focus and aim in the journey have been intent on patching its holes, and keeping it afloat, ironically, they feel more and more hopeless.  Every time they exert energy to mend one hole, the celebration is shortly lived as the raft springs another leak, this one even larger than the last.  Since their minds are exclusively pinpointed on what they are able to accomplish in their patchwork, they feel they are making absolutely no progress at all.  Exhausted, and anxiously anticipating the next rend in their raft, they begin to surrender to the weight of the burden.  For them, there is no progress until all the holes are fixed permanently.  It is at this point only that they feel they will begin to make true progress in the voyage.

Yet the Gospel informs them that life is so much more than "patchwork".  Just when they are on the verge of calling it quits, the wife peers down into the water beside her.  She realizes the stream beneath the raft.  All this time, while she has been consumed with fixing a leaky boat, she has forgotten the stream that is carrying her.  She has lost her faith in what truly brings progress.  As she gazes into the waters, the Spirit reminds her of something profound, "For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works" (Titus 2:11-14, ESV).  

Suddenly she becomes aware that her life, her marriage, and all that she is experiencing is flowing effortlessly in a current of Redemption.  Since she forgot the stream beneath her, she failed to realize that not only had she and her husband made miraculous progress in their voyage, guided by a current easily ignored, but in the process they too had been changing.  Working together to mend something that was so significant in their journey had created in them an intimacy, a patience, a kindness, a love, and a self-control that otherwise would have never blossomed within them.  They were different.  They were being completed, and they didn't even realize it.  The holes, the leaks, the failed patchwork were all essential to the larger process.  And as this intricate work of spirituality (also evidence of grace) was unfolding within their hearts, the Living Water, their God and Savior Jesus Christ, was propelling them down the canal towards His divine goal of creating in them "a people for his own possession who are zealous to do good".  

The question of faith for both of them is do they believe the promises of this "stream" of healing into which they were thrust by God's amazing grace, and to which their entire being is subject?  Is Jesus, the Living Water, going to propel them to their final destination as He promised?  Or is this Living Water going to dry up and fail in His mission because they cannot master the craft of patching up the holes in their lives?  In the end, the lesson is very clear:  they will only live as overcomers, if, by faith, they not only believe in this Jesus Christ, but believe in his insatiable passion and unyielding commitment to finish the work that He alone began.  It is our job to help point them in that exact direction.     

COUNSELING CONSIDERATIONS:

1. How significant is the Gospel to your counseling methodology?
2. How would you apply I John 5:4-5 to a counseling situation where the counselee(s) loses/lose hope?
3. As you read Titus 2:11-14, as yourself, "Do I believe this is true of my counselees who are believers?"  
4. As a counselor, do you place faith in Jesus and His commitment to those he has saved?  Or, do you tend to take too much responsibility for change upon yourself?
5. Is "faith" an overt topic you discuss with your counselees?  Why/Why not?

COUNSELOR'S PRAYER:

Father, how easy it is for us to get our eyes off of you.  In our dedication to training, it can often be tempting to place more faith in our skills than in the One who came to redeem a people unto Himself.  Help us be quick to recognize the foolishness of such misplaced faith, and grow us in our capacity to believe as we face situations that seem too challenging to resolve.  In our weakness and confusion, we ask that you reveal Yourself to us, a people who are often of little faith.  In so doing, give us the ability to reflect such faith to those we diligently serve.  We pray this in the name of our committed Redeemer, our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

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